Happee 3rd (working) anniversary, Han

Sorry for the advanced excitement. There are still a few more days to that, but I don't care. Anyway, I joined our company's annual dinner #EPGALA2020. Everything was good. Really! The foods, the performances, the prizes, everything. However, there's something unspoken thing that happened that worries me so much. Some bitter truth that we gonna face after this annual dinner, which literally starts tomorrow.

       Hey hey hey, isn't the golden ticket looks cool? I bet ur ass also thinking the same things as me aite? Ok so, here's a fact; behind this ticket got engraved my name and a QR code. So the QR code delivers a message from my manager, which touched my heart and almost make me cry. Well, almost.

       I'm so glad that I made it again this year. Legit glad. I enjoyed last night so much that at the end of the day, I realized I didn't even take a single selfie of myself (???) I just, wow! I went thru my phone's gallery and realized all the happy faces on my phone that I help take. And somehow, it makes me happy as well. I'm so attached to my fellow teammates so much, some of these people that I call them friends now. Well, a heads up, this might be (or should be) my last annual dinner for this company. BUT somehow I got lucky that I managed to bring home 6% salary increment. So yeah, Alhamdulillah. I believe Allah has a better plan for me, so I'll just put 100% faith in him. After all, He knows best.

        We have this annual tradition of taking pictures of us 'awesome people' but somehow this year got lots of faces eh. But these people are the ones that can handle my rude ass and never take it into heart so cincai la nevermind I'm just glad I found y'all. Some of em (The Sohai Circle) saw me cried, sohai, fcked up and most of the days, happee ^^. I really appreciate each one of you (other than those who just got in Idk how). Thanks for accepting me as I am and thanks for letting me be myself when I'm with you guys. God knows how grateful I am to be able to work and play with you guys.

       To my reporting manager, I have some (not) famous last words for you. I hope one day, you'll found my blog and read this.

       "First of all, thanks for choosing me 3 years ago, and inviting me into this family. Your are legit one of a kind and a guardian angels that been sent from up above to guide me and help me grow into a fine young lady in this harsh working life. You're so cool, short-tempered but understanding as fish. Or lobster. If I were given an opportunity to restart everything all over again here in EP, and get to choose the manager by myself, I would still choose you, again and again. That's how important you are to me, to us; all the sohai(s) in our awesome portal team. I'm so sorry if you feel under-appreciated, but please bear in your mind, we appreciate you so much. Sorry that our boss couldn't see that in you. Hope we can still be friends and stay sohai no matter what happen in the future. So long, dude!" - for The C dude

       "To my behind-the-scene team leader, my favourite sohai (so far). I'm so glad our manager forced me to sit besides you. Thanks to him, I get to learn how sohai you actually are. Little that you know, you were such a good leader. You just don't dare to deal with the responsibility that comes with the title. You're so enjoy coding and helping juniors and you make us enjoy doing that too. So, chin up (chin meng?) and give it a try. Deal with it as cool and calm like you always be. Believe me, you actually a very good leader. You are caring, soft hearted, good critical thinking and great at making decisions. There's nothing that you can't handle. So yeah, just go for it. Also, please keep in your mind that your sohainess (and cares when I fucked things up), makes me feel that you're such a great brother (or sister #insidejokes)." - for the Y dude   

I will write more for the rest of you sohai(s) in my future entry. Ciao for now!

Sincerely, a fine polite and sweet young lady in the making - H

Company Team Building 2019

Heyya fellas!

You won't believe what I'm about to tell you. *Drumroll*

I just came back from our company's team building, and I just spill everything in my journal. However, feels like I still have some more to spill, and I don't have enough paper. So, here am I.

It was held last week, at Royal Belum, Perak. We went there by bus, had to take the bus early in the morning on Friday. Basically, only 50% of the staff joining. And I like that! I don't like people, so it's noiceeeeee. Everyone gets to sleep for like... an hour on the bus. It was very thoughtful of the OCs, to let everyone sleep after woke up that early.

We arrived there around 10:45 AM, and we straight head to our boathouse. Bus A goes to Boathouse A, and B goes to B. We all gather on Boat A for briefing, while the boat moving towards somewhere, I don't know where. In our common language, we can say... we're looking for a place to crash in(?) Oh ya I remember, we're looking for a place to park our boathouse! Because it shouldn't be moving in the dark. We don't want our boat accident with some random dead dried tree that strikes from the bottom of the lake, don't we?

They told us that the lake was basically filled with water by the hoomans. And previously that place was a hill/mountain. So those old dead dried trees actually still attached to the ground, which we can't see the ground anymore due to the water lake.

There was no service at all! Digi has no coverage in that area, and we're totally cut off from the outside world. But somehow, I had no regret joining this team building. Everyone literally socializing very well. We talked! Like face-to-face with God-knows-where-your-phone is...

Move On

I made a mistake
By replying to your message
When I'm supposed to ignore 'em
I am sorry for that

Sorry for giving a fuck about you
Sorry for answering all your questions
Sorry, that you left me
Sorry for your loss

And sorry, that I chose to move on first.

Left

Everything suddenly becomes her fault.

Simply because he still loves her whilst she already moved on.

It was him who left her first.

Above Clouds

** | "This is Flight AK 6222, bound for Kuala Terengganu"

A breathtaking color appears before my eyes.
I wonder what is the HTML code suitable to represent it.

Rasa

Sepertinya aku ini
rindu.
Cuma aku kurang pasti
adakah rasa ini
sedang menipuku.

Sesungguhnya,

Saya rindu.
Rindu apa?
Rindu siapa?
Tak tahu.
Tak nak pun tahu.
Cukup disitu.
Kbai.

TE

Assalamualaikum.

Aku pernah kena.
Sebab tu aku tahu rasa.
Sebab tu cara aku berbisa.
Sebab tu sakitnya aku bagi engkau pulak rasa.

Maaf.

Contoh² dialog yang perlu dibalas menggunakan kaki.

~ Situasi 1

G : Awak pergi mana semalam?
B : Keluar dengan kawan-kawan.
G : Keluar pergi mana?
B : Sekadar makan-makan je.
G : Ada berapa orang?
B : Dalam 5-6 orang.
G : Saya kenal mereka tak?
B : Entah. Tak kot.
G : Semua lelaki jugak ke?
B : Ya.
G : Betul ke?
B : Betul.
G : Awak pakai baju apa je masa keluar dengan mereka?
B : Kenapa?
G : Awak jawab je la.
B : Ala, baju biasa. Kasual.
G : Awak tak pakai baju yang saya bagi?
B : Tak.
G : Awak tak suka eh?
B : Eh. Apa benda awak mengarut ni?

# Kalau aku jadik lelaki tu, memang aku menyampah dasyat la dengan perempuan yang macam ni . Even aku ni perempuan, aku still menyampah wei . Agak² babe . Boy tu pun nak ada life jugak . Phewww


~ Situasi 2

G : Awak jangan pakai baju hitam lagi.
B : Kenapa?
G : Awak nampak tak senonoh.
B : Apa?
G : Awak nampak gemuk . Lagipun, saya tak tahanlah orang lain cakap awak gemuk . Lepas tu rasa macam awak selekeh sangat . Awak takde baju lain ke? Warna lain?
B : Apa yang tak senonohnya saya? Tak fahamlah.
G : Saya kata jangan pakai, jangan pakailah!
B : Dah tu awak nak saya pakai apa?
G : Pakai warna lainlah !
B : Saya nak konvo ni, baju saya mesti hitam.
G : Awak jangan konvo macam tu.
B : Apa?!!

# Perempuan macam ni, untung la kalau tak ditinggalkan atau ditangankan.

    Kahkahkah! Memang siot gila. What if gua ni perangai sebijik macam 'G' dalam both situation tu? Mau couple tak cukup seminggu la. Hahaha. Bagi yang dah baca Kitab Terfaktab #2, mesti dah familiar kan dengan dialog² tu. Credit to Lord Zara, salah seorang writer dalam terfaktab #2 yang memang sempoi tahap boleh diterima akal lagi. Gua copypaste sebijik seketul letak dalam blog ni sis. Eheh. Dan kalau wujud lagi dalam Malaysia ni lelaki macam dalam situasi² tu, nak je gua face-to-face dengan mereka² tersebut. Penyabar tahap to the infinity and beyond. wakakaka :P

     Kepada perempuan di seluruh dunia, elakkan lah berperangai seperti situasi² di atas untuk mengelakkan anda couple tak cukup seminggu dan untuk menjamin kesejahteraan jiwa insan di sekeliling anda juga. @terfaktab daebakkk !!!

Kopi & Pasta

credit to Brader Leplep of Kitab Terfaktab #2.
Dicopypastekan dan diedit sikit mengikut taste gua untuk tatapan seorang insan-insan yang insane :)

99/84 Perkara Boleh Dibuat Selepas Kecewa.

1. Tarik nafas panjang-panjang.

2. Bakar semua album gambar bersama ex awak.

3. Delete nombor telefon ex awak jadi awak takkan hubungi diaorang secara sengaja mahupun tidak sengaja.

4. Delete akaun twitter/facebook dan buat akaun baru.

5. Menangis sepuas-puasnya. (Sepuas-puasnya, bukan selama-lamanya.)

6. Musnahkan hadiah yang ex awk berikan atau jual je kalau hadiah tu mahal.

7. Pergi mengembara.

8. Daki gunung dan luahkan perasaan dengan menjerit kuat-kuat.

9. Kumpul skandal.

10. Flirt to the fullest.

11. Main PES dan kalahkan ManUnited dengan menggunakan team Arsenal. (Ok. Suka hati masing² la nak guna team apa. Kbai.)

12. Lepak mamak.

13. Pillow talk dengan kawan rapat.

14. Main futsal dan slide tackle kaki lawan.

15. Join geng tabligh.

16. Ubah fesyen rambut.

17. Tengok wayang filem yang awk takleh tengok masa bercinta. Filem seram sebab ex awak dulu seorang yang penakut misalnya.

18. Simpan duit. (Tak dating, tak topup, tak belikan hadiah mesti boleh simpan duit kan?)

19. Balik kampung.

20. Pergi tengok bola kat stadium.

21. Update entry kat blog.

22. Shopping. (Shopping dengan pakwe/makwe confirm leceh kan? Selalunya makwe la. Aku sendiri pun rasa camtu jugak.)

23. Terajang dinding.

24. Baca blog terfaktab. Eheh. Baca blog aku pun boleh.

25. Baca kitab terfaktab.

26. Pergi kursus kahwin. (Siapa kata kena ada pakwe/makwe kalau nak pergi kursus kahwin?)

27. Main badminton dan try smash kepala pihak lawan atatu rakan beregu paling kurang.

28. Makan makan makan.

29. Main gitar.

30. Karang lirik dan buat lagu, siapa tahu boleh masuk Juara Lagu.

31. Drive kereta sorang-sorang kat highway.

32. Bungee jumping !

33. Beribadat. (Amboi, bila tengah sedih baru nak ingat Tuhan kan?)

34. Memancing. Tak kisahlah awak nak pancing ikan ke pancing orang.

35. Contact semula kawan yang masa bercinta dulu tak boleh nak contact sebab takut pakwe/makwe awak jealous.

36. Cat bilik dengan kaler baru.

37. Tulis novel.

38. Pergi menangis kat tepi pantai. Kalau orang tanya, kata pasir pantai masuk mata.

39. Mesin rumput.

40. Ulangkaji pelajaran bagi siapa yang belajar lagi dan ulang kaji pekerjaan bagi siapa yang dah bekerja.

41. Menari. Tango memang memerlukan partner tapi setakat buat Moonwalk. sorang-sorang pun boleh.

42. Tengok rancangan The Oprah Winfrey Show.

43. Simpan jambang.

44. Main layang-layang. 

45. Buat kenduri kesyukuran.

46. Nyanyi lagu Negaraku sebagai tanda kemerdekaan dari jajahan pakwe/makwe.

47. Format laptop.

48. Belajar main golf.

49. Beli hadiah untuk diri sendiri.

50. Makan maggi depan 7 Eleven.

51. Makan aiskrim depan Petronas.

52. Tengok lumba haram.

53. Masuk peraduan dalam surat khabar atau majalah.

54. Masuk kelas Taekwando.

55. Dengar ceramah agama kat masjid.

56. Gotong-royong menghapuskan nyamuk aedes.

57. Pergi luar negara dan main salji.

58. Kurangkan berat badan.

59. Naikkan berat badan.

60. Join gym dan bina six pack.

61. Tulis nama ex awak atas tisu tandas dan lenyek dengan basikal.

62. Ambil anak angkat.

63. Modified kereta atau motosikal, err... atau basikal?

64. Kenyit mata kat makwe lalu lalang.

65. Makan popcorn sambil tengok couple lain bergaduh.

66. Teman mama pergi pasar.

67. Belajar memasak.

68. Buat passport.

69. Lempang orang yang bercerita pasal kenduri kahwin.

70. Bersikap dingin.

71. Paksa kawan suruh putus cinta jugak.

72. Bela arnab.

73. Pujuk hati dan cakap "Relax lah, baru putus cinta, bukan putus nyawa."

74. Jadi fans Arsenal.

75. Berenang. Anywhere. Sungai, laut, tasik, swimming pool, kolah mandi.

76. Pergi karaoke dan nyanyi lagu Siti Nurhaliza.

77. Camping.

78. Buat jenayah-jenayah kecil sebagai tanda tak puas hati. Contohnya beli DVD cetak rompak kat 
pasar malam Guar Chempedak.

79. Berlatih buat free kick.

80. Bertanding jadi Ketua Pemuda atau Ketua Puteri.

81. Naik LRT. Selagi tak bosan, jangan turun.

82. Pecahkan mana-mana rekod dalam World Book of Records.

83. Tengok semua drama melayu kat televisyen,

84. Ketawa kuat-kuat sebab dah jadi single dan boleh buat semua benda sesuka hati. HAHAHA :D

p/s : 

Maaf lerr gua cuma senaraikan lapan puluh empat perkara saja . 

Lenguh tangan menaip ni . 

Gus senaraikan yang mana logik dek akal ajelah ye .

Kalau nak tau semua, beli sendiri kitab terfaktab .

Yang kat sini, ada gus tambah² jugak. Well, blog gua weh, suka hati doww...

Dan yang mana gua guna ink biru tu, memang selalu buat or pernah buat lah.

Tapi, gua bukan tergolong dalam kalangan orang yang putus cinta okay .

Sekian. Adios amigos!

[credit]

Proposal

*dalam keadaan palpitasi mengenangkan result PSPM-II yang akan keluar esok, tiba-tiba malam ni terasa nak imagine satu scene propose gaya paling tak romantik :)

~ Ketika sedang berjalan dari kafe ke tempat letak kereta.

Dian : Kenapa saya nampak awak selalu pulang lewat malam?

Iman : Saya nak jugak pulang ke rumah awal setiap hari tetapi saya nak ada orang yang menunggu saya di rumah.

Dian : Siapa yang awak maksudkan?

Iman : Seorang isteri.

Dian : Pergi lah kahwin!

Iman : Kalau awak setuju ...

~ Bunyi hon kereta yang bersahutan dari jalan raya yang mulai sibuk, manusia berkejaran ke tempat kerja, dan ada budak-budak sekolah berjalan kaki  menyeberangi jalan.

~ Tidak jauh dari tempat letak kereta itu, ada sebuah kereta yang rosak enjin dan pemandunya mundar- mandir menelefon mencari bantuan. Di seberang jalan pula, ada pejalan kaki yang nyaris jatuh ke dalam longkang. Dan Iman melamar Dian?!

Dian : Tak romantik langsung lah awak ni!! Ugh

The End

p/s : Pendek je kan? Haha. Memang la. Kalau dah panjang berjela, baik aku buat novel je terus. Dan kenapa aku letak nama Dian? Sebab dah aku rasa nama Dian tu paling manis atas bumi ni. Hiks. Iman tu hanya rekaan semata-mata. Tidak ada kena mengena dengan yang hidup di alam nyata mahupun yang sudah berada di alam barzakh. Nak jugak letak nama Izzue Islam tapi sebenarnya aku bukan isteri dia. Dia pun dah kahwin. 

      Ok. Kepada yang tidak faham jugak lagi cerita ni, aku harap banyakkan bersabar lah ye. Mungkin neuron hang lambat bertindak. Doakan aku untuk esok okay. Tiup la bagi lapang sikit hati ni. Result final exam kot yang aku dok tunggu ni. Bukan macam ujian bulan April kat sekolah tu tau. Kbaii. Assalamualaikum