Hello there, hi.
First and foremost, Ramadhan Kareem! ✨
As you can see, I'm restarting my blog (if you're following me from the beginning, you'll realize). Yeah, I'm rebooting it.
Today, I've been thinking of starting over a new blog. For no describable reason, I just wanna start all over again. But then when I re-think back, it would be a waste. I mean, it's not like everyone know this blog as I only shared the link with some of my friends. So tonight, I log in to my blog, go to the list of entries, delete that thought of starting a new blog, and just archived all my previous entries instead.
Now, let me be honest. This month was pretty hectic for me. Like sometimes I felt so down and entirely demotivated. Sometimes, everything feels so high and exciting! And sometimes, I felt so lonely. The loneliness was deadly. It's not like I was craving for attention. Seriously I get all the attention from my pals, fam, L, even my colleagues, but it was me who told them off. I felt like...
Can everyone go shut the f up? Or can I just die now? Or can someone please help kill me? Or I just wanna resign, please. Everything's so tiring.
I don't know folks. I don't even know what it is. I mean, the thing that has been bothering me. I tried talking to someone about this tho. Yes, I did. But, you know... yadda yadda...
I've been there, this phase. No worries, it will pass. Other than that,
try re-check this and that. There must be something wrong with your ibadah and such. Also got some like,
kau jangan layan sangat your dark thoughts tu. And my reply was... "Okay. Noted with thanks.".
Folks, this dark thought, it comes from inside. So please, if you just gonna tell me to re-check my imaan and spiritual and such, thank you so much. Google told me already. I tried already. But I guess, I'll just have to deal with it by myself. No one will understand how's that feel so... let's not wasting our energy.
Anyway, these few days have been much better for me - somehow 🌻
I wish it will continue being better and my old self will come back, enjoying her dream job and living a happy life. As always.