Dear Diary,
I was sad for the last two nights and yesterday as well. I was in deep sorrow, unhappy with everything and disappointed in myself. So just now, before I took EL half-day, my manager asks me to come and talk to him. With him, I rarely kept any secret if it's work-related. He makes sure I didn't keep anything from him.
So I talked, I cried, I laughed, and I learned. Thankfully I managed to keep the person's name tightly to myself and myself only. I didn't reveal, even tho he almost kills me just to know who's the person that says all those bullshit to me. Thankfully, after I talked to him, I feel so much better. Without even reveal who.
And then a few hours ago, I confront that person. I told him that I was hurt by him. I told him that I was moody because of him. Just like I said, he doesn't even realize that he did wrong to me. Fast forward, he apologized for what he did, and he revealed something that I felt very touched. He told me that my senior offered himself to switch team and saved me because he trusts me. He knows I can take over his role very well in our team. He believes I can handle and overcome all the shits that will happen in the future. And that's... makes me nearly cry. I mean, for someone vaguely skeptical as him, would dare to place a bet on me, I'm just... stunned and touched. Because all that we know is he offers himself because he wants to learn new things. So I thought, "Oh! Okay.". Consider this opportunity came at the right time. But nah... he was doing that for me. HOW COULD I DIDN'T KNOW SHIT BOUT THAT?! Haish!
Anyway, I'm glad that person that hurts me, telling me that. It clears my thought and gains back my confidence. At least for... 7%? Glad I found friends among my colleagues. Glad I have people who willing to place a bet and trusting me that much. Glad that I have the same people that would have my back anytime I fall hard. Glad I have these crackheads in my life. Thanks, guys.
Love, H.
p/s: I'm writing this at Starbucks after decided to run away from work.